


This Isn't Funny

by tabbytabbytabby



Series: Thiam Prompts [33]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, Liam Needs To Think Before He Speaks, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-01 08:15:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13994205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: Liam panics when his Mom finds bloody and torn sheets in his room and blurts out that he had sex with Theo. Liam doesn't understand the big deal until he realizes maybe that's what both of them want.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompts “Out of all the things you could have said, and you went with that.” and “Stop laughing this isn’t funny!” from [this list.](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/post/168056218878/dialogue-prompts) of prompts.  
> 

  
[Banner by E_wolfwisegirl](https://ewolfwitchwisegirl.tumblr.com/)

  
Liam stares from his pile of ripped and bloody sheets to where his Mom is standing in the doorway waiting for an explanation. Honestly, he wishes he had one. He _does._ It’s just not an explanation she’ll like.

“Theo and I had sex!” Liam blurts out, bringing a hand to his mouth as soon as the words slip past his lips. That definitely hadn’t been what he was supposed to say, but there’s not going back now.

Jenna arches an eyebrow at him, looking from Liam to where Theo is standing frozen next to him, his face completely impassive. Theo was going to kill him once they got out of this situation.

“You had sex with Theo?” Jenna asks and Liam nods. “And that’s why your sheets are all torn up and bloody?” Liam nods again and she sighs. “I’m torn between being happy you two are together and concerned that it ended up with ripped and bloody sheets. But given what I know about you two well… Just try not to let it happen again please. And go a little easier on him next time dear.”

She shoots a concerned look towards Theo and then leaves the room, closing the door behind her.

Theo rounds on Liam as soon as the door is closed, opening his mouth to speak. Liam shoots him a look, gesturing towards the door where they can still hear Jenna standing, probably wondering where she went wrong.

 Theo narrows his eyes, advancing towards Liam. “Yes _sweetheart_. You really should go easier on me, don’t you think?”

Liam gulps, back away from Theo. He's been told plenty of times he should think before he speaks. Now he's really starting to see why.

Liam turns his ear towards the door, letting out a relieved breath when he no longer hears his Mom nearby. At least his Mom wouldn’t have to listen to him die. She’d be spared that much. Then again, thanks to what he told her she’d probably just think him and Theo were trying out something kinky and either pull out the wine or leave the house.

“What were you thinking?” Theo hisses, “thanks to you your Mom probably thinks I’m some sort sex fiend or something.”

“If anything, she’ll think I’m the sex fiend,” Liam points out.

“And I’m the one that lets you try out your sexy torture tactics on me,” Theo says, “Were you dropped on your head as a baby? Seriously? Out of all the things you could have said, and you went with that.”

Liam looks at the pained expression on Theo’s face and then starts laughing. He can’t help it. This whole night has been far too weird. Starting with a group of weredonkey’s popping up in the preserve and ending here. The reason the sheets had been bloody was because one of the weredonkey’s got its hoof stuck in Theo’s back when Theo had turned to warn Liam about the one behind him, not counting on the hoof being able to penetrate his skin. But it had. And it had been deep.

Liam had managed to sneak Theo into his room he’d called Stiles, asking for advice on what to do. After a moment of Stiles debating the pros of letting Theo die he’d finally admitted that Theo would most likely be fine. He just needed the wound clean and bandaged and some rest.

Two of those things had been achieved before Liam’s Mom had come running into the room, apparently startled by all the pained groaning. And now… well now she thinks it’s because Liam got a little rough with Theo in bed.

Liam laughs harder, doubling over as he clutches his stomach. He just laughs harder when Theo shoves at his shoulder, knocking him over. “Stop laughing this isn’t funny!”

Liam wipes his eyes as he looks up at Theo, a few chuckles still slipping past his lips. “Oh come on, my Mom thinks I’m totally able to top with you. It’s a little funny.”

Liam tilts his head when he sees Theo’s face heat up. What could he possibly have to blush about? The last thing Liam had said had been about… _oh_. Interesting. “Unless you think I could?”

Liam looks at him before looking away, his previous anger seemingly replaced with nerves. “I didn’t say anything.”

“No,” Liam says, pushing himself to his feet and walking towards Theo. “But you started blushing when I mentioned being the top. Is that…? You’d want that?”

Theo sighs, turning his back on Liam. “Just drop it.”

Like hell Liam was going to drop it. He never in a million years thought he’d get Theo in bed, let alone being the one to top. All his fantasies involved Theo doing some amazing things with his hands and mouth… and he was really getting off track.

“I won’t,” Liam says, surprised by how steady his voice is. “Theo. Look at me.”

Theo turns his gaze to Liam, face more hesitant than Liam’s ever seen it. “What do you want Liam?”

“I should be asking you that.”

“Why?” Theo asks, “You seem to have figured it out already.”

“Have I?” Liam asks, steeping in front of Theo.

“Yes Liam, you have. Now if you’re done making fun of me…”

“I’m not!” Liam reaches out and grabs Theo’s arm to stop him from moving away. “I’m not making fun of you. It’s… I want that too. Not just that. I want other things. I just want _you_.”

“You want me?” Theo asks, eyes moving from Liam’s hand on his arm up to his face.

“Yeah,” Liam says, voice soft. “I have for a while.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Why didn’t you?”

Theo’s lips twitch up into a smile, “I imagine the same reason you never said anything.”

“So what now?” Liam asks, his hand sliding down Theo’s arm to take his hand.

Theo’s smile widens as he steps closer to Liam, their chests now touching. “I suppose you could kiss me.”

“You suppose?”

Theo rolls his eyes, “Damn it Liam. Just kiss me.”

“Bossy,” Liam laughs. Then he’s leaning in and kissing Theo like he’s thought of doing so many times before.

He always imagined it would be in the heat of the moment, both of them running on adrenaline. But this is different. But this is different. It’s soft and sweet and Liam thinks it’s perfect.

“I still don’t understand why you had to blurt out to your Mom that we had sex,” Theo says when they pull back. “She knows about the supernatural. She would have understood.”

“Shh,” Liam says, putting a finger to Theo’s lips. “Don’t question it. It all worked out in the end.”

Theo shakes his head with a smile, pulling Liam closer. “Yeah it did.”

Liam almost faints the next morning when he wakes up to see a book outside the door called _The Do’s and Don’ts of BDSM._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This second chapter is thanks to Sofia and Alicia. <3

Liam purposely throws the book under his bed without even opening it. Like hell is he going to look at it. He and Theo just started dating, they weren’t anywhere near ready for the book.

Not that he would feel comfortable with it considering where it came from. He supposes he only has himself to blame. He’s the one that lead his Mom to believe he was having really kinky sex with Theo. Maybe one day he would. Just not with the help of that book.

Despite not opening the book, Liam is always aware it’s there. With each day that passes it becomes harder and harder not to open it.

Until one day after school he just can’t resist anymore. He pulls it out and throws it on his bed, staring at it as if it’s going to jump up and bite him. With all the things they’ve faced a book that bites people like the Monster Book of Monsters from Harry Potter wouldn’t be all that surprising.

He looks towards his closed door before sitting down on the bed and picking the book up. It’s not new, he realizes. The binding is worn, as if it’s been opened multiple times before. Liam frowns at that. Had his Mom bought him a BDSM book used? That’s a little weird. Then again, this whole situation is weird.

Liam’s eyes snap up and he throws the book behind him when the door opens. He lets out a relieved breath when he sees it’s just Theo. That is until Theo steps closer and sees the book on the bed and raises an amused eyebrow, “Something you want to tell me Liam?”

Liam groans, burying his face in his hands. “I was just curious.”

The bed dips next to him and Liam feels a warm hand on his thigh. “There’s nothing wrong with being curious.”

“I know,” Liam says, removing his hands to look at Theo. “It’s just weird because we’re not _there_ yet. And my Mom gave me the book.”

“So you’d be okay with the book if your Mom hadn’t given it to you?”

Liam shrugs, “Maybe.”

“Noted,” Theo reaches behind Liam and picks up the book, rubbing the spine with his fingers. “Is this used?”

“It looks like it,” Liam says, “but I haven’t opened it to check.”

Theo flips open the cover and starts slowly flipping through the pages. Liam notices that some of them are dog eared in the corner. “Looks like whoever owned this had some favorites,” Theo says, smirking down at the book. “And some of this is really kinky shit. I wonder where your Mom got this.”

“I’d rather not know,” Liam mumbles.

Theo chuckles, whistling when he flips to another of the marked pages. “Oh this one has notes. Listen to this, _I couldn’t walk for days after. One of the best orgasms of my life_.” Theo looks over at Liam. He knows his face must be bright read because Theo chuckles, leaning in to place a kiss to his jaw. “Does that interest you Li?”

Liam can’t deny that it does interest him. But who could deny wanting to have the best orgasm of their life? And the thought of Theo giving it to him…

Liam growls, pulling Theo in for a hard, frantic kiss. Theo moans, returning the kiss with equal fever. Liam’s about to say screw it, maybe they can try some things out from the book, when the sound of the door opening has them breaking the kiss.

There’s not enough time to do anything with the book so it’s still sitting in Theo’s lap when David enters the room, Jenna right behind him.

Jenna looks from Liam and Theo’s flushed faces to the book in Theo’s lap and blushes. “Oh dear. Did we interrupt something?”

“What could you have interrupted?” David asks, walking into the room. “They’re reading. What do you have there boys?”

Liam wants to crawl into a hole. So his Dad apparently didn’t know about the book. He’s at least a little relieved to know he wasn’t in on the plan.

“Wait a minute,” David says, picking the book up from Theo’s lap and turning to Jenna. “This is _our_ book. Why do you two have this?”

Liam’s eyes widen and he looks to Theo to see him looking just as horrified as Liam. He’s suddenly glad they were interrupted and didn’t actually try anything out of the book. The thought of the ‘ _best orgasm of my life_ ’ suddenly sounded less appealing now that he knows who wrote it. His _Mom_.

“Oh god,” Liam says, “oh no. No no no. This isn’t happening.”

“Did you sneak into our room and get this?” David asks. “I’ve been wondering what happened to it.”

Liam whines, grabbing his pillow and burying his face in it. Right now he wouldn’t care if it suffocated him or he knocked himself out. Anything to get out of this conversation.

“I gave it to him,” Jenna says. “After finding the ripped and bloody sheets I thought they needed a useful guide to safe and consensual sex. It has a lot of good pointers in there. I learned a lot.”

“She really did,” David says.

“I don’t need to know this!” Liam shouts, shooting up from his bed. “I don’t. I can’t be here right now.”

“This is your room sweetheart,” Jenna points out.

“Then I’ll leave the house,” Liam says. “I need some air now anyway. I need to be away from here.”

“I think you’re being a little dramatic Liam,” Jenna tells him, amusement clear on her face. “We’re both adults in a healthy relationship. You’ll understand when you’re my age that the need or desire for sex doesn’t just stop.”

Realistically Liam does know that, but these are still his parents, and he’d rather not be thinking about their sex lives. He looks at the book and feels his stomach turn. “You can take the book back. We don’t need it.”

“Are you sure?” Jenna asks.

Liam nods his head frantically, “Yep. Definitely sure. We’re good. Thanks. Bye Mom.”

Liam barely stops to put his shoes on and grab his phone before he’s turning around and walking out the door that leads from his room to the backyard. He walks over to the old swing set they still have and takes a seat. It’s worn down and barely used anymore but it still works.

He looks up when he hears footsteps and sees Theo walking towards him. Theo takes the swing next to him, his legs kicking at the ground as he spins his swing around. Eventually, he stops and turns to Liam, a smirk on his face. “So I take it the things in that book are out of the question now?”

Liam pushes him off the swing.


End file.
